we're living in a den of thieves

cold indifference cut you, like a slab you lack any discretion when broken. Pan, your shadow's coming over your eyes - you may be able to see but there's no light coming in, just the screaming and the wailing, constant din din din.

carpe diem

my nanna dying has made me realise a series of things.

1.when I find the courage to be strong, I need to remember her smiling through 12 years of illness.
2.I'm lucky to have never lost anyone like this before.
3.Grief is the worst pain I have ever felt, losing someone to the complete unknown.
4.My selfish behaviour has got got got got to stop. I missed out on her last moments, though this wasn't intentionally my choice (I didn't know they were visiting, but I can't be angry at my dad either) my constantly being out had some impact.
5.I should ask my surviving grandparents everything so I don't have this overwhelming sense of regret...

and finally, though this is what I hate the most. Times like this make you realise who really makes you better. I learnt this meant recreating the illusion of someone in my mind that died a longer time ago.

e=mc.sq

wearing something skimpy and getting hammered is no longer a solution.
though there is no real problem I believe a little tweaking is in order. I've made really bad decisions lately

time to get a job, pray to holier forces that I get in and dye my hair the colour of butternut squash^
(cue the hayley williams jibes)

my latest love affair

Miranda July writes fiction?! I did not know this {: can't wait to read up on her in egypt over the next two weeks. Won't be blogging in a while but when I next do I will have some fab-ul-uso photos ^-^

there's nothing british about the 'british national party'

there's too much debate about it, but so many of my friends have voted bnp. And without sounding overly mouthly I have the following points:
1. What are the bnp going to do, now they're in the european union constituency, about equal rights in the workplace/ethnic minority representation.
2. No one in the u.k can say they're 100% pure bred english, not even the lady at buckingham p.
3. We asked for immigration after the second world war to boost economy - one of the biggest government drives I do believe we've ever seen
4. Our economy would die if it weren't for many of the people moving over to work here. 'stealing british jobs' pft. They can't get engineers who are half arsed to get qualified over here (FACT).
5. WHAT was the point in all our predecessors fighting against a fascist regime in world war two? you're disrespecting the lives lost and mass 'british' comeradery of all our gramps. boo!

there's more but I'm in college and going home noow!

someday I'll be far out enough I can't go looking for trouble

L@@K at what I got as belated birthday presents {:











Protruding through the pictures these hate-all faces claim my mind. Skies are blind, trees are blind - I stick out like a sore thumb with my open eyes. I see myself a lark, caged in this colour-blind vortex -- suddenly a prism splits, I claim my name; etched in Onyx.~*~

Exams have been absolutely ghastly. The worst thing is I now know what I'm letting myself in for and have another week of synoptics ahead of me. I know I have Egypt at the end but I'm finding it hard to not let packing and whatnot take priority. The chances of me getting into brum are looking slimmer by the day, i just feel utterly swamped ) : bright side = all my english literature exams / most important / are over. So a little less pressure I guess.

'you know where I eat lunch'

BRENDAN: I'd bull the lot of them, Em, I'd burn
down the whole party if they tried to
play you again. Jerr and whoever's next.
I want to keep you safe.


EMILY: You can't keep me safe, Brendan. I'm in
a bigger world now, and you can't hide
me from it, and you can't beat it. Not
if I don't want you to.